Seek

I first saw your colors and shapes in a picture at the end of a hall. Tucked away, so that only the soul who made the effort to get closer could see it's magic.

I made the journey and saw that this was actually a painting. Not only was it beautifully colored and shaped but there was texture and depth. 

It was now that I could clearly see. You were an ocean.

I made my way to your shore. The sand heavy and black between my toes. "What a curious, odd thing" I thought. I sat down and marveled at the forces that it must have taken to create such a thing. The immense journey it must have adventured to become what it is now. 

The water: jewel-toned blue, but white right when it tumbles across the volcanic-born shore. And green, bright green, everywhere else. The grass. The trees. Everything else. The contrast of it all invites wonder. 

I wonder how deep the waters are. I wonder what lies at the bottom. 

I take a step. Then another. I am in control. Your waters running back and forth across my feet. Then my knees. Then my hips. I feel myself losing the strength to keep my feet on the ground. 

I am no longer in control of my own body. Your waters push and then pull. I am chest deep without trying. Seconds later I can't feel the earth beneath me. The shore looks unreasonably far away. Fear boils in my blood.

I get tired of fighting you. I float atop your waters. Your waves stop crashing down on me, instead, they only roll beneath me on their way to greet the shore. And I am ok. I am calm, my ears listening to your ocean, muting out the world I am familiar with. I relax. I am safe. 

Then it gets still. The waves have gone. I look up finally. The shore is gone. Everything is gone. I am gone. You have pulled me in deeper than I realized.

I want to return to land, to the familiar, to safety. 

But an ocean has never invited me out so deep and I’ve never let myself be brought so far.

And the only way out is in. To fall slowly and hopelessly into you. To be consumed by you.

So now I’m lost at sea. 

Hoping that when I sink

you place my body  

next to the treasures you keep.